Lynn's Story: From Adventist Heritage to New Life in Jesus

My family heritage reaches back six generations into the early formative years of Seventh-day Adventism. My training in the intricacies of the faith began at birth and spanned my formal education through the first year of college. During my grade school years, I completed several correspondence Bible studies put out by the Adventist Church. By the time I was 14 years old, I had read through the entire Great Controversy series, Steps to Christ, Christ’s Object Lessons, Testimonies to the Church (9-volume set) Ministry of Healing, and Education. As an adult, I reread those books, some several times, as well as other writings by Ellen White. Bible reading was also a part of my study. I believed that I was well-versed in the scriptures.

My family and I faithfully attended Sabbath School and church as well as the Revelation Seminars hosted biannually by our local church. The words and emotions come back to me now as I recall the depictions of the beasts and the fateful moment when Jesus reached my name in the “naughty or nice” books. My little heart trembled as the sonorous voice of the evangelist intoned the fearful question, “Would you be ready if your name came up tonight?” Posing the question in that way implied that the answer must be “No.” Being “ready” meant that every sin I had ever committed had been repented of and that from that moment on I would have to keep the books clean. I was serious about my religion, but my heart had no peace that I would be able to meet the requirements for salvation. It was always made clear to me that my salvation depended on developing a perfect character – oh, of course, empowered by God’s aid. I would leave those meetings with terror gripping my being.

By the age of 19, the whole package of church attendance seemed futile and hopeless, so I stopped going. When I did leave, I had no anchor in Christ and drifted into a meaningless life of hopeless, destructive behaviors. When I lost hope of being able to secure salvation, I saw no benefit in pretending that I would. Keeping the rules was getting me nowhere, so why not jettison the rules altogether and have some fun. From what I had been taught, when the end finally did come, I’d be lined up with the goats, burned alive, disintegrate and that would be that. End of story. Not a good outcome, but the best I could hope for – quick and dirty – then nothing.

The proof of the power of the indoctrination I had undergone is that throughout my sojourn from all things Christian or Adventist I continued to believe in the Sabbath. As I write this, it occurs to me that I didn’t just believe in the requirement of Sabbath-keeping. I believed in the Sabbath in the way I now believe in Jesus Christ. I trusted that my faith in the Sabbath may have an outside chance of squeaking me into the pearly gates. It really never occurred to me that my faith was to be founded on the person who had already secured salvation for me.

As I walked further and further away from what I had known of religion, the Lord preserved a place for Himself in me that was manifested as a desperate yearning deep in my inner being. I longed for closeness and intimacy with a Person I had yet to meet. I just couldn’t let him go – or more accurately, he would not let me go. His Spirit continued to draw me through that voice that could not be extinguished by any amount of false teaching. I recognized His voice and had come to feel comforted by its presence. Then, one day, as I was cleaning house, I realized that I hadn’t heard the Holy Spirit speak in quite some time. That scared me and I began to wonder if I had committed the unpardonable sin. Since I equated the Seventh-day Adventist Church with the path to God, I began attending once again. I jumped back in with a fervor born of the fear that I had very nearly secured a permanent position in the ranks of the lost. If I was going to “do church,” I was going to do it “with all my might.” I served on the church board for many years, held various church offices, and was involved in several different church committees. For many years I served as Head Sabbath School Superintendent and even gave sermons in the local churches.

God knew the plans He had for my life and wasn’t deterred by the path I was walking at the time. He was preparing for the future even before I knew what a drastic turn that future would hold. He is able to reach through our confusion, through our misconceptions, and speak to us as the Sovereign One. He did that with me through dreams. In 1999 I began to recognize that some of my dreams were from God. I had no understanding of their meanings until they started being fulfilled in my life. I’d like to share the first dream I was able to identify as being sent by God.

A group of several hundred people was being transported by cattle cars to a remote location in the mountains. I was among them. The train stopped in a valley surrounded by the mountains where we were herded out into a labor/death camp. I stood apart from the group entering the camp. Soundlessly an angel appeared beside me. “Follow me,” he said as he led me toward a gate guarded by machine-gun toting men. Skeptically, I followed as we walked right by the oblivious guards. We made our way to the foot of one of the mountains where the angel turned to me, pointed up the mountain and said, “Run! And don’t look back.” So I ran with all my strength. The terrain was steep and forested, but my strength never flagged. It was equal to what was required. The mountain finally flattened out into a plateau that was parched and dry – as if it hadn’t seen rain for years. Dead trees and brush were all that was left.

There was very little covering, but there were people everywhere frantically trying to find a place to hide. They were screaming in fear, “Judgment Day.” I looked up and the sky was multi-colored and rolling. I understood what was happening and yelled to the frightened people, “Why are you afraid? It’s Jesus! Jesus is coming!” Then I woke up. Twelve years later I received a book called Cultic Doctrine of Seventh-day Adventists by Dale Ratzlaff whose cover exactly matched the plateau I had seen in my dream.

In the summer of 2001, I hit a low point in my life. I told God, “If you don’t do something soon, I am going to die. I don’t see any sense in living anymore. Not like this!” I went to the scriptures and God spoke to me through His word, “Heal me, Lord, and I will be healed, save me and I will be saved.” Jeremiah 17:14. Then another passage seemed to jump off the page as I heard God speak it directly to me. “Therefore this is what the Lord says, ‘If you repent, I will restore you that you may serve me; if you utter worthy, not worthless words, you will be my spokesman. Let this people turn to you, but you must not turn to them. I will make you a wall to this people, a fortified wall of bronze; they will fight against you, but will not overcome you, for I am with you to rescue you and save you,’ declares the Lord. ‘I will save you from the hands of the wicked and deliver you from the grasp of the cruel.’” Jeremiah 15:19-21. At that time I had no idea why the Lord was speaking those words to my heart.

During this time I had started seeing a counselor who spoke to me about the importance of forgiveness. She gave me some homework. I was to think about those who had wronged or hurt me in the past and consider forgiving them. She also gave me a list of scriptures defining who we are in Christ to read before our next session. That evening I went for a walk and talked with God about this forgiveness thing. I reminded Him that my previous efforts to forgive had not been at all successful. Then out of nowhere this thought popped into my mind: “Ask God to give you his forgiveness and then give that forgiveness to the ones you need to forgive.” I did just that. Instantly, I could sense God’s forgiveness being poured into me and shoot out of me in the direction of the one that I was struggling to forgive. Something happened to me in that moment. I felt lighter. I felt free. I felt whole. But God wasn’t done yet.

The next morning I pulled out the list and my Bible. I only made it through the third text when all of a sudden I could feel the presence of God fill me. I had no grid from my Adventist background to understand what was happening. I knew it was good and that it was the Holy Spirit. The peace, joy, and love that flowed in me were overpowering. I knew that I was made new and that the old was gone. The sins that held me captive no longer had power over me. The Holy Spirit confirmed what I already knew by experience when I read 2 Corinthians 5:17. “Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation; the old has gone, the new has come!”

For the next several months the Spirit Himself taught me through Romans, Ephesians, and I John. One morning God told me, “Don’t ever allow disappointment in your behavior to separate you from me. I created you for fellowship, not behavior. Just come to me as you are. Don’t worry about your standing with me. My Son took care of all those issues. Now we can just fellowship and enjoy one another. You are no longer under condemnation—you are justified. You are a new creation in my eyes. I only see what my word says about you…..and you are what my word says. Speak my word and it will be released to work and bring forth fruit. Stay close to me. I am looking for faithfulness. I long for people who are faithfully seeking my face, who are faithful in staying connected to me—no matter what.”

As the Spirit was teaching me to trust Jesus’ completed work for me I began to see that there were many Christian churches teaching these truths. Prior to this, I rarely would explore anything outside of Adventism. I was taught to be "careful" of Sunday-keeping Christians because they were deceived. The hallmark of their deception was their failure to honor the Sabbath day, a sure demonstration of the false spirit behind their beliefs. God knew how to break through my cautions by bringing me into contact with a Christian woman with whom I felt an immediate affinity. She had a Rhema background and shared with me The Voice of Victory Magazine. As I read the articles, God began to birth faith in the miracle-working God of the Bible. I understood that all the gifts of the Spirit are still active and available today and I invited the Lord to use me in service through those gifts. It took a lot of study to feel comfortable that gifts I had been taught were demonic are actually manifestations of the Holy Spirit as he reaches out to people through us. I could no longer deny that gifts such as tongues are in that list in 1 Corinthians 12 for the church.

Since 2001 the Spirit has given me several visions and dreams that have helped me understand things that had puzzled me before. The Spirit has poured out the mercy of God in miracles of healing, words of knowledge, prophecy. Jesus has allowed me to get in the yoke with him and see what it’s like to work in his ripened fields. He has sharpened my ability to hear His voice – as his sheep always do. Each experience has deepened the intimacy I have with my Father God, Jesus, and the Spirit. This new intimacy with the Holy Spirit was all a preparation for what was yet to come.

It was December 2009 and I was excited to be driving to the academy to pick up my sons for Christmas vacation. It was cold and wintry, just the right weather for a festive holiday. As I drove along with happy anticipation, without warning, my car went into a slide on black ice. I had no control as I helplessly felt the car grab pavement and go into a roll: once, twice. The next thing I knew I was outside and the car was lying on its side next to me. Trying to figure out what had just happened, I glided backward to look through the windshield. And lo and behold, there was my body lying perfectly still. I remember thinking, “That’s my body.” I watched it in amazement for any signs of life and when there were none, came to the realization that I had died in a car crash. "My body is dead," I observed, and started to turn away and go "up."

A voice stopped me, "You need to wait at the scene of the accident. Stay there. Someone is coming." As I waited, the presence of God completely enveloped me and also mingled within me. It was awesome. It is something I can't really put into words for there are no words that could adequately convey it. Eventually, someone did come. I was found partially ejected from the driver’s side window with the car resting on my head. My spirit re-entered my body and I became aware that someone was asking me questions.

A few days later I began to question God about the accident. Since a number of God-directed events had taken place just before, I suspected that there was more to this experience that I should explore. The Lord led me to understand that the adversary wanted to take me out. He wanted me dead to put an end to the plans the Lord had for my life, plans to destroy the works of the enemy, further the Kingdom of God and bring the lost to Jesus. He spoke to my heart and assured me, “You are here today because I covered you with my hand." Literally - my car didn't crush my skull because God covered my head with His hand.

Now I had a serious contradiction on my hands. Was I to believe what I knew I had experienced when my spirit left my body or what I had been taught through my Adventist education and indoctrination? Of one thing I was sure: I could not sit on the fence between these two antitheses with any internal integrity. I decided that the only source of truth on which I could safely rely was the Bible, and I began to exhaust every allusion I could find in the scriptures to the afterlife. What I found there astounded me. Where had all of those texts been before? How had I missed their clarity? I thought I knew the Bible and yet, what I discovered was the exact opposite of what I had thought was there all my life. The scriptures used by the Adventist Church to support the teaching of soul sleep actually supported the truth of a human spirit that transcends death. The traditional SDA proof texts didn’t hold water. The preponderance of evidence supported the veracity of the experience I had during the accident on that icy December day. If I had been deceived regarding the Biblical teachings on the state of the dead, what else did I believe that was contradictory to truth?

Shortly before my accident in 2009, I began teaching a Sabbath School class on the Holy Spirit. Needless to say, it stirred up a firestorm of reaction since there is such a fear of deception when it comes to the role of the Holy Spirit within Adventism. Word had also leaked out that I was attending another church on Sundays and there was talk that I was tainted and bringing contaminated doctrine to the members of my SDA Church. Their fear of my disrupting the traditional teachings they cherished and protected caused some to go into a protective stance. Instead of directly discussing or confronting what I was teaching from scripture, a number of the members began a very personal campaign to discredit my integrity. I did my best to weather the storm until October 2010 when I felt the Holy Spirit was releasing me to leave. And I did. God is patient with us and knows that we often have to be led in stages. I wasn’t ready to completely cut my connections with Adventism yet. There was still the issue of the Sabbath that kept me tied to its influence. So my membership was transferred to the Kansas/Nebraska Conference.

While cleaning house in May 2011, I was impressed to gather up all the Ellen White books and other SDA materials from my bookcases. I stacked them on my dining room table where they sat for a couple of days. I had no idea what to do with them. That evening I took a break from cleaning and sat down with my Kindle. I decided to browse the bookstore for materials about Seventh-day Adventism. I scanned down the list of books and was especially drawn to the book entitled The Naked Truth: Exposing the Deception of Adventism by Hazel Holland, edited by Cherry Brandstater with a foreword by Ramone Romero. At first, I strongly resisted the urge to buy it. I wasn’t interested in reading anything that was written by someone who had left the church with a “chip on her shoulder.” So I kept looking through the listings. But I kept going back to that book…..again and again. Finally, I gave in and bought it.

That night I read half of the book and was in a state of shock. The next day I knew that those Adventist books no longer belonged in my home. I loaded them up and dropped them at the front doors of the local SDA church. That night I finished reading the second half of The Naked Truth. I felt completely overwhelmed. Though I knew the contents expressed the truth about Adventism, they also undid the framework of my belief system. I needed to talk to someone that was like me, someone who had roots that were as deep as mine in Adventist tradition and history. As I was praying to God, I pled with Him to get me personally connected to one of the people involved in the writing of The Naked Truth so that I could explore my unsettled emotions and unraveled foundations. He did.

Within a couple of days he connected me with Cherry Brandstater, who was a sixth generation Seventh-day Adventist like me. I read her study, “Ultimate Rest,” on www.gentlybroken.com (Now Truthfulgrace.com) and one more pillar of Adventism crumbled and fell. Now I understood the Old and New Covenants in a way that I never did before. I also understood that for me, Sabbath is not found in a day, but in a Being….Jesus Christ. I now could rest in His finished work accomplished at the cross for me. Jesus is my true Rest. Hallelujah!

The complexity and depth of the grip of Adventism is just now becoming evident to me. Just when I think the work is finished, I find another layer of falsehood that must be renounced and washed away. Though I had come to understand that my Sabbath Rest IS Jesus, I realized the fear surrounding the end-time implications of Sabbath-keeping still lingered. What if Ellen White was right and Sunday laws are legislated? Thankfully, throughout this journey, the Lord had taught me that I could come to him and ask my questions and depend on his willingness to answer me. So I got alone with God and asked Him about it. After a moment of stillness, He answered my question with these words, “It wouldn’t matter if government were to legislate Sunday, Tuesday, or even Saturday laws. If you keep a day as the Sabbath, you would be rejecting Jesus. You would have fallen from grace.” Once again my heart was at peace.

That evening I was invited to a friend’s house. He was unaware of my journey out of Adventism. While there, we discussed his discoveries of the falsehoods contained in the writings of Ellen White. It was a vital piece to the puzzle. I now knew, without a shadow of a doubt, that EGW was a false prophet. Another pillar crumbled. Very shortly after that night my husband and I renounced Seventh-day Adventism. We were baptized into Christ at Harvest Christian Fellowship on June 5, 2011, and on September 25, 2011, we severed the final tie with Adventism when our names were officially removed from the Kansas/Nebraska Conference Records.